Stay at home moms

(I blogged about Luke's birthday and then managed to erase it all. In frustration I have shelved it for a day or two. But, it will be coming. Hopefully the video of him eating his cake will work, too.)

Today we had a lesson in Young Women's that really bothered me. (I have been called as the 2nd counselor, by the way.) The lesson was about choosing a vocation. But, the person teaching it said that you can't be a stay at home mom anymore because the world is too expensive now. Had I not been chasing Luke around and been able to collect my thoughts without sounding defensive I would have commented. (She even singled me out a bit.) It made me feel weird and I was unable to feel the spirit for the rest of the lesson.

I am a stay at home mom. I live on a very tight budget, but I make every cent count. When I want something I save for it, plan for it or go without. We are in more debt for school than I would like (of course I do not like any debt), but I plan on living a tight budget for a few years after we are done to pay off the debt as quickly as possible. I have worked outside the home and I was guilt ridden and frustrated because it was not what I wanted to do. Some women want to have jobs and careers, but I am not one of them. I am grateful that I can be here for my children and watch their changes first hand. I would love to go back to work part time while my kids are in school so I have something to do, but I want it to be optional. I am proof that the world is not too expensive to be a stay at home mom. I have 3 children, too. I am aware that I am not articulating this very well, sorry. I don't have anything against Mom's that work. (I admit it frustrated me when I saw their children more than their parents did when I worked at the children's center, but not all parents are like that.) But, to tell girls who want to be at home with their children later that they can't do it is wrong. To tell them that it will not be easy to do it would be more accurate. To tell them that it would be soooo worth it in the end is also very accurate. I planned on being a stay at home mom. I have made it work a lot of the time and I am very grateful for the Lord's help in that regard.

(This is not a very good picture, but it is the only one I could find of me working at the Children's Center in Boulder.)

Thanksgiving

I can't believe that I didn't get more pictures of Thanksgiving. It was a good day, though. We were not missing too many on the Bahlmann side. Andy's cousin Heather brought a guy to turkey day. His name is Dallin Bailey. If they get married she will be Heather Bailey. Weird!

This is Anneke with one of her namesakes, Aunt Susan Bahlmann.

Luke loves his "Uncle Silly". (That is what Marcus called him and it stuck.) Zack and I are almost exactly 10 years apart. He is fun to tease. He told me that in order to prevent my children from being mean to his children in the future, he is going to spoil my children now and be the favorite uncle. We'll see... Next year he is planning on serving a mission, so that will be his last Thanksgiving.

Some things I am thankful for:

*My parents paying for stamps so I could write to Andy for 22 months.

*Modern technology (phone, internet, camera and indoor plumbing, if it counts.)

*Being able to fill my minivan up for less than $30.

*My husband

*My 3 children

*My amazing family

*Feeling a part of family no matter how long it has been since you were last together.

By the way

I was thinking today that Heather needs to be nice to Pam. Pam has a boy and Heather has two girls. All Pam has to say to Bella is, "Sticky side up" and you know she will believe Tia Pam. That is my advice for the day.

Memory Monday

Since we are going to be out of town on my baby's first birthday I am doing my Memory Monday about him. This time last year I was so frustrated. Jodi had Abigail and I thought every day that I would go into labor. People that were due after me were having babies and I wasn't. It felt like forever. Then, my doctor said he would induce me on the 28th. My water broke the afternoon of the 27th. Luke was still born on the 28th in the morning. If this is any indication, he is going to have an interesting sense of humor. Stats then:

Caspian Luke Bahlmann

November 28, 2007 12:31 am

8 pounds 3 ounces 20 1/2 inches

Marcus and Anneke chose the first name before we even got pregnant. (The Lord has blessed us with each of our children on His time table and not our own.) I finally relented when no other name fit. His initials are after my dad, CLB, and his middle name is after my mom and sister, Heather. (There middle name is Lou.)

This is a picture of Luke after he got all cleaned up. (Before they took him to be warmed up because his body temperature was too low.)
The first picture of my son. Notice the careful cropping. ;) I love how his weight is right there to see. (He still looks almost exactly the same when he gets mad.)

3 months old and so cute. (Thanks, Jodi.) Bet you can't frown looking at that one.

He still makes this face and it breaks my heart every time.

His grown up Easter outfit that he promptly soiled at church.

At Chitaqua with "Grandpa Doug" May '08

First time swinging.

Marcus thought it was hilarious that he was playing with a pompom. July '08

He was moving and I couldn't get a good shot, but he still looks sweet.

This morning he had pancakes with syrup (just a little) for the first time. He styled his hair very nicely with it.

I don't brag about my children very much or post about them much. I am afraid of boring people. Still, since it is his birthday blog I will divulge and you can discontinue reading if you wish.

Luke is a joy. He makes me laugh and I love to snuggle him. He loves books already and I enjoy watching him with them. I love watching his personality emerge. Luke will put things in openings, anything that will fit. It is fun to find shoes and blocks in where balls should go down a chute. He observes and tries to figure out how things work already. He is also mostly quite happy. He cries and stops when the problem is fixed. Last night was the first night he has slept through the night with no crying at all. So, for the first time in over a year I got to sleep through the night, too. Luke wears 24 month shirts and 12-18 month pants. He has short legs. We bought him his first pair of shoes and he hates them. It is liking watching a baby deer try to walk. I am so grateful I could be here to watch him grow and see each stage. Life is never dull in my house.

Oh, Pam

The picture doesn't have anything to do with my post, but it was a fun one of Pam (and Noah). I have been thinking about her lately. I wrote to my husband (as a friend. {He was dating my best friend...long story if you don't know it I will relay it...} anyway...) the whole 2 years he was on his mission. So, I have a binder of our letters in order. I found it again recently and we have been reading through it and it is pretty embarrassing. There was a lot about Pam, but I won't mention all of it, I won't embarrass her. In a letter I mentioned that she told me in June 1999 that I would be married within 24 months more like 18. Andy and I were married January 2001. Freaky! Also, she likes peppermint ice cream (you can only get it this time of year.) with caramel sauce. I tried it for the first time tonight and it was pretty yummy. I guess I should trust her more often...Nah! ;)

Where I blog from...

Marisa loves me and tagged me. ;)

I didn't even clean my daughter. :)* Notice the sword on the wall. We had those in hiding for 2 years when living at CU!
I now tag Pam, Cari, Jen and Mom! Weird tag, but interesting. Oh, and the RULE is that you can't clean. Just grab your camera and take the picture. Sadly, mine has been cleaned recently.

My husband

Jenny and Marisa did this tag. I liked it, so I stole it from them as usual.

What is your husbands name? Andrew Robert Bahlmann (goes by Andy)
How long have you been married? 7 years 10 months
How long did you date? from dating to wedding day was 6 months. From meeting until wedding day 5 years.
How old is he? 29
Who eats more sweets? Me. He likes Cheetoes
Who said "I love you first"? Andy. I was still thinking of myself as Poisoning relationships, so I was pretty scared,
Who is taller? Andy, (than pretty much anyone I know except his brother.)
Who is smarter? Andy. I read the papers he writes and I don't understand half of the words. He even says he tries to make them accessible to everyone. Oh, well. He is a brain.
Who can sing the best? I am going to claim this one. I know I like it more and he got the last two so there.
Who does the laundry? Me. I think he is scared.
Who pays the bills? Both. I do half and he does half, not on purpose.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? When in bed it is me, when facing the bed it is Andy, so which one are we talking about?
Who mows the lawn? There are no lawns around our apartment, just rocks. YUCK!
Who cooks dinner? Me. Andy does Sunday dinner sometimes and will occasionally cook, but mostly me.
Who drives? Both. Andy will when we go as a family someplace, but I take Anneke to and from school 4 days a week. We try not to drive a lot. actually.
Who kissed who first? Andy kissed me. He broke the one month rule by a fews days.
Who's the first to admit they are wrong? Me. After all, I was the one that sort of ended things...
Who asked who out first? Andy's mom asked me.
Who wears the pants? Hm. No one. Or we both do. (I like Marisa's answer)

Okay, I want to tag Jen, Cari, Jodi, Anna and Pam. I thought it was fun to reflect on something different.

P.S. I changed my blog background and music. I am one that firmly believes one holiday at a time, but I was hoping this would help my mood. It doesn't feel like November should here. Yesterday it was in the mid 80's temperature wise. Plus, other things in my life... Anyway, enjoy some Christmas early.

Memory Monday - Grandma

Did you know my grandmother died 7 years to the day before Caspian Luke was born? That means the day after Thanksgiving it will be 8 years. I think of her a lot. I see her in the things my daughter loves, especially pink and gold. I see her when I make food, especially aebelskivvers. I see her when I smell Estee Lauder perfume. I see her when I go to the temple or think about it.

Carolyn Brugger was an amazing woman. She knew how to entertain and get stains out of anything. She made the best creme brulee. (I am sad that the recipe died with her.) She was very creative and loved to surround herself with beautiful things. She loved to tell how I would sleep on her chest when I was small. I used to rub her arm and tell her how much I loved her after each meal. Until she wore a white blouse one day, she did not realize that I was using her as a napkin. My grandma also had a way of holding her family together and making us closer. I think she would be sad to see how far apart we have drifted. I know she watches over me and I believe that she has played with each of my children and sent them to me when it was time. She is a part of everything I am. I honor her still in all I do.

101st

Everyone gets to play "Guitar Hero - World Tour". (We bought this in hopes it would help Andy unwind. He has a hard time with that. I am not sure if it is helping, though. *sigh* Any other suggestions?) Oh, and Carianne and I want to know what game you guys played where you sang. This one is not the best for singing.
Luke clears this shelf off 2-3 times a day. I thought if I just left them out until after he went to sleep it would be alright. Unfortunately he then rips the books up by walking on them, or using his hands. Not sure how to baby proof this. We have too many books to relocate them to where he can't get to them. (Our apartment is not that big.)

Alexa S, Erin C, and Grace M

These are 3 of my Young Women. I was released because of the ward split, but this was the last activity we had together. I was closest with these guys. (The other 2 that came were hiding from the camera.) I play flag football with them on Saturdays still, though. We also still loan each other books and I am going to use them as babysitters someday. *Side story - I was in Barnes and Noble the other day and was reading the 4th book in the Percy Jackson series I have been reading. A boy, probably in 5th grade, came up and started talking to me about it. It was a fun conversation, but it made me realize how sad I must look. I can have in depth conversations with elementary and middle school age kids about books that are popular. I love the books I read, though. I am not embarrassed. *

This is my 101st post! My computer crashed somehow. It was very sad. Luckily I was fully insured and had backed it up. So, I got a new mother board and something else. Sadly, the last backup was October 20th, so I lost 2 weeks of pictures. Luke's first Halloween. Now I am trying to figure out how to retrieve the photos from my blog and Facebook so I can have some for posterity. I am posting these as a precaution. Maybe I am weird.

Another tag

I actually like getting tagged. It helps me know what to write about. Carianne and Jodi tagged me. Thats what I get for passing along the love.
1 minute ago I was checking blogs, specifically Mom, and Jodi's.

1 day ago at Sunset Park playing Bocce ball and catch with my family.

1 week ago I was getting dinner ready before I went to my last YW activity.

1 month ago I was at church so Andy could sing in a quartet for the Christmas program. (Since the ward split that is not going to happen.)

3 yrs ago I was in my last year at SUU to get my BS. I was working full time at the CHild Care Center there and was being begged to take over as House Manager at USF for the Christmas Carol.

5 yrs ago I was pregnant with Anneke and didn't know. I was in my first semester at SUU and living at Kensington.

7 years ago I was pregnant with Marcus and in my last semester at Snow College. We were living in a cute pioneer house (the Breakwell's) and Scott was living upstairs.

10 years ago I was a senior in high school. We were getting ready to go to California to visit the Burkes and Warnes. We had an exchange student, Bruna, from Brazil that I did not get along with. I was writing to 12 missionaries, Andy included.

If you are interested in doing the tag, feel free. I am not sure if people enjoy doing them as much as I do.

Tag

Last night I spent a while on my "Memory Monday" so check it out. However, Anna tagged me a while ago, but I didn't have my computer. This is the sixth photo in my sixth folder. It is Anneke and Marcus on Easter. Anneke was 2 and Marcus was 5.

I tag - Carianne, Jodi, Marisa, Katie, Melissa and Summer (We will see who actually follows through.) Now, go to your sixth photo folder and choose the sixth photo and tell us about it. Have fun!

Memory Monday

I watched a lot of TV when I was growing up. I really didn't think that I did, because I remember playing Barbie and house, playing in the tree house and witches brew in the bird bath, reading and playing school, acting out plays, etc. Still when I was thinking back to shows I watched as a kid, I came up with quite a long list. I am not going to list obvious ones like HeMan, Transformers and and Smurfs, though I did watch those as well. Some obscure ones you may remember:

Today's Special

Pinwheel's Playhouse

Shirt Tales

Captain Caveman

You Can't Do That on Television

Hey Dude

X-Men

Captain Planet

Gargoyles

Mousercise

Snorks

Wuzzles

Gummie Bears

Smothers Brothers

Pretty much every link will take you to Youtube to watch the intro to the shows. Some are more disturbing than I remember from my childhood. For example Pinwheel's Playhouse is now rather creepy. Below are a few movies we loved, but again I am not sure why.

Movies - Empire Records

BBC Chronicles of Narnia mini series (Lucy looked like a beaver to me, but I thought Peter was pretty good looking.)

Electric Grandmother (I always thought it was cool that chocolate milk could come out of her finger.)

The Gnome Mobile

I hope that I have entertained some of you and maybe brought back some memories. Any shows you remember that I missed?

A girl like no other

Most of the time when I look at my relationship with Anneke I feel that I should get the worst mother award. I wonder if I just don't know how to mother a girl, or what. I wanted a boy first and then a girl. After that I did not care. I am amazed that I got exactly what I wanted order wise for my children.

I wanted a girl so I could do her hair, (Anneke did not have hair until she was 2) dress her in cute clothes (Anneke could get dirty in a pure white room) and play girly things with (Anneke loves to play with Marcus's pirate ship and Planet Hero toys.) None of this is bad per-say, it does mean that I needed to rethink what I saw our relationship being. Shifting gears has been hard and made harder that I was not around for a year of her life due to work. (I wonder how long it will take me to stop beating myself up over that.) As soon as I think I know her...Well, anyone that has met her knows that she is unpredictable and they broke the mold after they made her. I never thought I would say things like, "We lick lollipops, not Bubba." or "Sitting is for chairs, not Marcus's head." or "Color on paper, not walls, doors, tables or the carpet." You get the picture.

I worry about my relationship with Anneke. It is the hardest to maintain and the one that causes me the most stress. Each day brings something new. I love her and am amazed by her daily. She has a way about her that nothing can compare to. I fear that I am hard on her because I expect too much. The ideal, if you will. I have to keep reminding myself that she is who she is and that is all. Today she told me when she grows up she will probably be a princess. I can see that.

(I tried to load a picture of Anneke swinging a sword around, but I can't get it to work. Just imagine it. I am still without my computer, so the picture is old anyway.)

New President

Preface - Andy says this sounds snarky. I don't mean it to. I think our new president will do well and I will start praying for him like I have President Bush.

I am sure that everyone (including me) is so happy the election is over. I can honestly say now though, I didn't vote for the guy. I have had things on my chest that I wanted to get off, so bear with me. If you want to stop reading go ahead.

I had a hard time figuring out who to vote for. I went back and forth listening to both sides and not sure how to handle it. My answer came in a magazine called the Ensign. In the October issue Russell M. Nelson wrote an article that helped me realize who I could not vote for. (If you are interested in reading it, click here. He is direct and to the point. Even if you are not LDS it is worth reading.)

Before I was married and just after I had a lot of medical problems which boiled down to me being told by two doctors I would not have my own children. Andy and I talked about other options and were seriously considering adoption when we were done with school. Obviously these concerns were unfounded. However, before we found out I was pregnant with Marcus I did miscarry. My sisters have miscarried, my mom miscarried several times. No matter how far along you are, it is never easy.

Anneke came home wearing a sticker at the end of September. It said, "Vote for the Children." I asked the lady what it meant, she said that I decide, but they can't vote for themselves. I chose to be an advocate for those who could not vote and those (with the help of our new president) who never will.

Memory Monday

My computer is on the fritz so I have no photos for today's memory. I am using Andy's computer and it feels different. Anyway...

My memories are of my mom today. I want to be a stay at home mom because for the most part she was. I didn't realize how great that was until I worked and was unable to attend little things my children have participated in.

She was involved in elementary school on the PTA and even substituted. One day I wasn't feeling well and was surprised to find my mom in the nurse's office subbing. Mom was one of the most popular substitutes along with Mrs. Pfiester. I loved having Mom involved because we knew what was going on and got to help with things like the fall festival and book fair.

The big things I remember later are all the school trips my mom came on when I was in high school. She was "the mom" for speech and drama trips. She was a great team mascot. Mom showed her support to everyone. I loved having her there. It was like when I was little and got hurt. It didn't seem real until I saw Mom. I also didn't realize until recently the sacrifice it must have been to spend so much time away from her husband. She tried to support us the best she knew how.

Mom also always waited up for me when I was out (unless she was ill or tired, then Dad would be there) and it was nice to be able to chat after big dates and events. Mom has always been there despite health issues. She has overcome a lot. Thanks for the memories.

Nevada Day

Yesterday was Nevada Day, so Marcus and Andy had the day off. (Nevada Day is the day the state joined the Union.) We played, did chores and rested for the big evening. We went to Safe Street at the Town Square Mall and Trunk or Treating at the church. Marcus got several laughs when he would say "trunk or treat" to get candy. Luke got a lollipop handed to him first stop outside Eddie Bauer and he loved it. UH-OH! Anneke did not like the noise and spent a lot of time with her ears plugged.

We started the day with a Spooky breakfast. Monsters feet (pancakes with chocolate chips),bat droppings (chocolate chips) and ghosts (whipped cream) on top, goblins brains (green scrambled eggs), and witches fingers (sausage). I know, it sounds gross, but Marcus got a kick out of it. Anneke did at first, but then decided she would rather not hear it.

I was "going green" and had fun making vines on my face with Andy's help.

Scary Pirate or Paul Revere?

Marcus entered the costume contest and was bummed he didn't win. (He wanted a Wii game. The costumes chosen were not that great. A two year old matador with his 2 year old best friend dressed as a bull were the best I saw. Very fun.

The line from The Paper Bag Princess kept going through my mind, "HEY, DRAGON!" The cutest flying dragon I ever did see.

Doesn't she look happy?

PS - November's music is going to be a tribute to musicals. You will hear Newsies, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, Wicked, etc. Any requests just let me know.