My "day care"

Many of you know that i do child care in my home. It was an accident that it happened, but I have enjoyed watching Baby Marcus for the most part. We understand each other now. My bishop keeps recommending me to people because he "trusts me and knows the children will be loved". A great compliment. I was sad when things didn't work out to get the newborn this month. However...

I have two little girls that I am watching now. Their background is VERY complicated, to say the least. Let's just say their mom and dad had a shot gun wedding and mom cheated on dad and is now living with her boyfriend. I am stuck in the middle. The hardest part for me is caring for the two girls. They have no schedule or boundaries. Their mom brings mac and cheese literally every day for me to make for them. I mostly give them real food and return the unopened boxes, but she doesn't even notice. They do not come bathed. The youngest is lactose intolerant, but mom won't admit it so I clean up the vomit and yucky diapers. (I don't let her have dairy here.) The youngest girl also has not gained any weight since she was 6 months old. (She is now 14 months.) Why is no one concerned about this? She won't eat anything but sweets and junk. UGH! I feel like the bad guy every time they are here. However, I really care about the girls and want to do what I can for them. The oldest girl still colors like an 18 month old and she is almost four. They are not getting the care they deserve at all. I am mostly venting, but if you have any ideas or thoughts that would be nice. I would rather have the girls here than elsewhere. At least I know they are getting proper care a few days a week.

Ode to my $20

Oh, how I will miss you.

You could have been 3 weeks of laundry.

You could have been a night out with my honey.

You could have been Marcus's library fine and class picture.

You could have been gas for my car.

You could have been new books for my children.

You could have been that new DVD.

You had so much potential.

Why did you leave me?

You left me somewhere between my purse and my purchase.

Never forget me.

I just pray someone worthy found you, my friend.

Happy Birthday

Chris DAvis, Carl Pfiester (birthday boy), Andy Bahlmann

Clyde Bailey (my dad)

Happy Birthday, Carl! Marcus thought it was his dad's birthday today, but I told him it was his uncle's birthday. For whatever reason that was super exciting to him. Carl was my first brother in law and the only one I remember the birthday for sure. (Can't figure out why that is, though.) So, have a great day and may the Spurs win in honor of your 32nd. I am sorry your wife is so mean by the way. ;)

Memory Monday

I don't have a lot of time, so I am going to try something different today.

*This time last year we were finishing up at CU and packing to move to Las Vegas. I was still hoping Arizona would contact us with an acceptance letter.

*This time two years ago we were a couple months pregnant with Luke and I was working at the Family Housing Children's Center in Boulder. I had just found out that I was going to be a Resident Manager.

*This time three years ago Andy was working for the Utah Shakespearean Festival (USF) and I was finishing up my degree at SUU (Cedar City, Utah). We were planning our move to Boulder, Colorado.

*This time four years ago Andy was finishing his final semester at SUU. We were getting ready to go visit my sister in Texas and gearing up for our summer working for USF.

*This time five years ago I was finishing my first year at SUU and was pregnant with Anneke. We were living at Kensington apartments.

*This time six years ago Andy was completing his first year at SUU and had changed from theatre to English as a major. We were packing to move to Kensington apartments. Andy was working at FedEx and Walmart.

*This time seven years ago Marcus was a tiny baby and Andy was having many appointments in Logan to get ready for his jaw surgery. Jeff had just gotten home from his mission. We were living in the only house we have so far and loving it. Scott was our "room mate". We were in Ephraim and Andy was working at the grocery store in Manti.

*This time eight years ago we were newly weds and having many doctor appointments to figure out what was wrong with me. Popi and Doreen had just gotten married and I was jealous that Curt and Rachel Cox were pregnant. I was pregnant with Marcus and didn't know yet. Attending Snow College in Ephraim. I was cleaning the elementary school in Ephraim and Andy was building sets for the theater department about to start at Steven's Brothers.

*This time nine years ago I had finished my first year at Snow College and was dating a guy I wanted to marry. Carianne came to visit with David and Jodi. Both Cari and Jodi were pregnant. (They met James.) Andy had about 3 months left on his mission in Texas, Spanish speaking.

*This time ten years ago I was a senior in high school and ready to be done. I was attending institute at Snow and getting ready to attend the Summer college ward. I was watching the Breakwell children frequently and writing to 12 missionaries.

If I had known 10 years ago where I would be now, I wonder how much different my life would be. I wonder where I will be 10 years from now.

Two

Why is it that in books, and movies a family consists of two children, commonly a boy and a girl? If there is a third it is a perpetual baby. Most people I know have three children. (Not just LDS.) I can understand that it is easier to keep track of fewer characters and you can care about them more easily. However, part of what makes Pride and Prejudice so fun is that there isn't just Jane and Lizzie. On the flip side, Taming of the Shrew would be different with more than the two sisters. Maybe because of this dynamic in media "society" feels guilty when they have more children than what they perceive as the norm. (This is obviously my opinion.) Why do people give so much power to the entertainment industry?

I have been reading books set in the late 1800's to early 1900's. These women had child after child and were sad if they were blessed with only four, or even two. I think that part of that was the death toll. If you had more children it was more likely that some would live longer than you, but still not a guarantee. Still, what changed? I am not condemning people for having small families, that is their choice. But, family size is a choice that should be left up to the people. Not dictated by society. You should have as many children as you feel you can take care of. (There is a difference between "take care of" and "want" by the way.) Why is it so hard to raise a large family now? Why can't you afford it now? Why do people look at you askance when you bring a group of children somewhere? "Are you Mormon or Catholic?" "You are so selfish adding more to the already overpopulated earth." "You are a drain on OUR resources." "Having too many children is not very 'green' of you." Oh, I am green, but I prefer red. Any thoughts?

Proud of me?

So, this week I have done a few things that should make my life easier. (I hope.)

First, I bought Anneke a big toy box. All of her toys fit in that box and I am hoping it will make cleaning easier for her. For Marcus I have always had separate buckets and tubs for toys. Like, Planet Heros, cars, pirates, Star Wars toys, etc. When Anneke started accumulating a few things she had a Barbie bucket and Princess bucket, a basket for food and dishes, etc. It was a fight to get her to clean. So when a basket broke and a bucket got a huge crack in it I decided that we will try putting it all in one spot instead of continuing to replace the offending storage bins. (Marcus will continue with the buckets, because his personality runs that direction. But, he was jealous she got something NEW, he loves new stuff.)

Then, I went through all the clothes I have stored. I gave away 7 or 8 boxes of things. It was easier than I thought it would be. Now, I have 3 boxes of girl clothes and 2 boxes (one big) of boy clothes. That is still a lot, but I couldn't part with a lot just yet.

Yea, Me! Now to get over my sentimentality with toys so we can glean those. It is hard because Andy's grandma and grandpa has made them things. My mom made us bears, things like that I want to keep. The Bat mobile Marcus wanted for so long and finally got, his Toy Story toys he loved, etc. The helicopter Uncle Sis gave him that he loved. Anneke's first (and only) Cabbage Patch doll. But, I HAVE made progress.

Another one?

Okay, I know I just did a book review and I am not very good at them, but this one is significant. The book happens to be my mom's all time favorite book. When I was growing up and wanted something to read, or said I was bored my mom would thrust this book at me and try to get me to read it. (The book she had is the one pictured above.) Every single time these thoughts went through my head, first It looks so boring. Then, Why would I want to read a book about a girl with a man's name? And sometimes Who cares about a Canadian Mountie? So, with that kind of stimulation I found other books to read or activities to occupy my time.

Recently my mom did a small blurb on her blog about it and my older sister mentioned she enjoyed it. I visited my grandpa and he mentioned that it was a family favorite. So, I read it. Yes, I finally read the book. It was not boring. But, I was still bothered by her being called Mrs. Mike. I would hate to be called Mrs. Andy. (Not that I don't love my husband.) Then I got over it when she talked about becoming one as the Bible says with her spouse and they were so close in mind and spirit they did just that. Plus, everyone calls her that because they knew her husband first and she in essence belongs with him. So, the title no longer bothers me. The Canadian Mountie part was also very interesting. I had never known or thought about the things they mentioned. I am quite familiar with the history of the area, but it never had any real emotion behind it. The book was about joy and hardship. It put my life into perspective and the blessings I enjoy. However, it was not my favorite. The book was published in 1947, so I was greatly surprised by the bad language. Words written stay with me longer than words said. (Weird?) I also felt like it left some things unresolved. But, I give it 3 1/2 stars out of 5. My next goal is to read my maternal grandmother's favorite book, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

I have been thinking that the driving force behind every movie, book and even life. It is LOVE. It may not be the love of another person even, but it is the love of something.

(Also, I am not good at book reviews because I go into a book wanting it to be good so much that I can easily forget about the flaws until they are pointed out to me. If a book I read has an element that bothers me, you know it is huge in my mind.)